Yup, I did it -
walked through the feelings until things began to change. It was SO good for me to write the other day, right when I was feeling so upset. And I did not pull or pick. One moment at a time.
There are many things that help me process feelings, and writing is one of them. So is meditating, walking, exercising, talking to good friends, praying, deep breathing, doing jigsaw puzzles, various crafts, and finally, the hard-earned awareness that if I feel the feelings without reacting, and simply let them flow, they DO change.
It used to be so unbearable when I felt overwhelmed. Don’t get me wrong – when I get into overwhelm it feels horrible. I just know that I don’t have to control the feelings, I need to relax into them, acknowledge them, validate the truth of whatever is going on, and then usually I end up with a new awareness or insight into my own process. Does it hurt? Usually. Is it worth it to be present for the process? A resounding YES.
It has taken a long time, but it has been worth the work – of expanding my internal ability to be awash in feelings that are uncomfortable, without seeking solace in a bottle, or a drug, or a hair, or spot of bumpy skin.
So today I feel pretty good – and the issue that so upset me a few days ago is really not that big of a deal now. Especially because it seems that everything is going to work out! I will know more by next week.
What else – I don’t know, maybe I will be more expressive in the morning!
Love to all and thanks so much for your loving support.
Christina
