Christina's Blog

Hello World!

Today I encourage peace within my nervous system, having learned much from our dogs and cats!

In our home Frankie and Jessie are buddies.

Frankie is a six-toed orange cat with light green sea-mist colored eyes, and Jessie is a Beagle; a bit on the small side, with perfect Beagle markings. In living with them, I have watched as they got to know each other, and the limits that each can live with. Often today (six years later) you will find them sleeping together, or Jessie licking Frankie’s ears. Or Frankie rubbing up against Jessie, gently rumbling with his burbling purr.

All is well in the world.

Now Ben, the Shepherd, and two other cats also live in our home, as do my husband and I. All of us together form a big dance, with the chipmunks, deer, birds, and other local creatures (humans included) as we move in and out of the house throughout the day and night.

And this dance has expanding circles within expanding circles within expanding circles of life, ultimately encircling the very globe we live on…  Am I star stuff? I suspect so. The sun of creation burns vitally in the core of my soul, wrapping through all space and time until back at the center. Without one piece of this inherent dance, I do not think I would exist.  hmmm… musings getting wild there… lol!

But back to Frankie and Jessie. Natural enemies, they were raised together. A one-year old Beagle found a 6-week old kitten moving in. At first, all Jessie the dog wanted to do was nuzzle, chase and pester the kitten, in fact, possibly even eat it. Well! Frankie soon learned that hissing, spatting and batting furiously were useful tools. Thus, ground-rules were quickly identified, boundaries set, and then began the work of getting to know each other. Over time, they got deeply used to each other, settling into the rhythm of daily activity, simply accepting the other’s presence as a fact of life as life is, within the realm of their personal experience

Today, there is a mutual sense of recognition of  “otherness” between them, yet they have become good friends, and are at peace with one another, unless a boundary is crossed beyond a certain point. Even then, they do not ever come to blows. Simply a dismissal, a quick leave-taking, a yip, a hiss, stuff like that. No grudges ever held, and always comfortable when coming together again. Lots of respect on both sides, and even some joking around.

 Jessie is often filled with evident delight when Frankie saunters into the room.

I have learned a lot watching them. In a way their relationship has become a metaphor, teaching me more about my own nervous system and the very body-focused impulses I so hated for most of my early life.

One body, with  conflicting drives, emotions, thoughts, and impulses. Egad –one could hypothesize there’s a slew of “dogs and cats” within!!!

Altering or shifting perspectives often invites different solutions. Taking a look through metaphor, and learning from the natural world, in which living beings are flexible, negotiating and constantly re-evaluating – relationships, can be very useful.

That’s what life is all about – relationships.  Relationships with self, and other, with inner and outer, with the Divine, with the mundane.

Relationship. Whether with oneself, a loved one, a furred, feathered, or scaled friend. Whether with a goal, a dream, a habit or an impulse. Or with a like or dislike, with a sensation, a desire, with a thought form, or a feeling. Or with a disorder, a compulsion, a disease, a pain. It is all about the dynamic interplay of the present moment with all that we perceive through all of our senses.

Ultimately it’s about our internal relationship with the gateways or portals through which we sense (and make sense of) our lives.  ( I have to smile – okay, musing away here…)

Sight, touch, feeling, taste, smell – and our interpretation of this data. But what of thought? Perception? Intuition? The longings of the heart?

The ripple of energy when Spirit flows?

 I have a gut feeling we need more words to identify far more aspects of self that the simple 5 physical senses.

So much of me is not physical – when I look for roots, I find they are not in my biology but in my soul – which is indefinable, unpindownable, ungraspable, and yet far more tangible, real, and constant – than my body, my thought forms, and my feelings.

Yes it is here, sitting in bed, typing this out before I sleep – and the sensory portals are what I have to play with. They are of me, but do not define me. They connect me, but do not interpret me. They are my gateways to you, to life, to the world.

 It is I – who interpret them. From my awareness, perception, soul, spark of divinity – what ever and however oneself can ultimately be defined. ( my guess is we really are indefinable…) But we always try (like I am doing here rather ineptly) – with words as the vehicle for conveying concepts through space and time.

Back to my trich. Like cats and dogs, I found that which was my “natural foe” needed to be honored. Respected. Accepted for its own truth. Not liked, I never said anything about like. Honor – respect, yes. For its power, its bulldoggish persistence, its relentless intrusion on my senses. For its availability, and lure. For its strength and for its mystery. For its trance induction and its wonder – when I found “just the right one.”  For its insidious shaping of my self esteem, my life patterns, my deepest longings to be free.

Acceptance of its role in the unfolding pattern of my life, my thoughts, my drives, my goals.

Do I like the suffering I went through? No.

But I like the person I have become.

Which brings me here to this very moment. It is here that magic happens, and I do not pull or pick.

 I practice being aware.

All the time. (When I remember… lol!)

 It’s a choice:

I have two.

I can practice

Or not practice.

Choosing practice has brought me to this moment.  What was foe has become friend, where there was battle there is now peace. And now, I am connecting with you! And there is nowhere I would rather be.

If I had chosen not to practice this way of life, I would not be here today, sharing with you.  I would be elsewhere in a different story line of creation.

But I am here, and there’s work to do!

With all my heart and soul I yearn for you to experience the gifts of freedom from compulsion. Hopefully – without the degree of suffering – although I know you have each suffered, or you would not be here reading these words.

So did you know that cats and dogs can grow to live in harmony and love?

I have seen it. Lived it, breathed it: in my home, on my pillow, sometimes room barely there for my human head as I get surrounded by my furry friends.  And this human head has hair, and my skin is clear, as I find my nose gently ticked by the flick of a cat’s tail, and my hip kicked by a Beagle’s back leg as she gets comfortable.

Did you know that one can find peace within a nervous system long-wracked by impulses to pick and pull?

I know this to be true.  It’s been a lot of work, but really, really, precious things have come of walking this path.

Have I mused enough?

Good night, and deepest love to you.

Christina