Christina's Blog

Dear ones,

Woke up today pondering the upcoming TLC Retreat and what it means to me, and thought I would share some musings on it.

Why come to a TLC Retreat? To honor your process, the truth of your life experience, to allow yourself the space to step outside of your habituated routines of behavior, thoughts and feelings, and to experience being surrounded by the profundity of a deeply understanding community.

And do this in a setting of great beauty and peace, focused on healing, surrounded by nature; how often, truly, do we give ourselves this grace-filled opportunity?

Spread over 4 days, The Retreat starts Sunday evening, followed by two full days of interactive sessions, and ends Wednesday at noon. The timing is designed to truly allow time away from our normal activities, and offers an opportunity for transformative change in our relationships with the disorder.   

After many, many years where so many of us have tried so many pathways, from medication management to diet, from prayer to acupuncture, from counseling to support groups, a deeper understanding is emerging of the absolute importance of acknowledging and embracing the inner processes that truly support recovery, no matter what your approach, training, belief system, etc.  

And for those who have more recently started these unwanted behaviors, it provides an excellent roadmap right from the start!

During the Retreat, you will experience the opportunity to look at these chronic, often habituated behaviors and the associated mental patterns that can fuel them from new perspectives, and to meet others from all over Come together with others to educate yourself, share experiences, and practice new behaviors that can open pathways to healing on many levels.

Spend time with facilitators who are profoundly knowledgeable about living with, and healing from, hair pulling and skin picking, and the dynamics that often surround them.

The retreat environment offers attendees the opportunity to create a deeper understanding of the inner journey of living with, and healing from, hair pulling and skin picking,

Having attended all of them, for me the bottom line is this: I am in recovery, and I am maintaining it. From pulling/picking from 2-6 hours per day for 2 decades, to now, when I have eleven years of solid recovery, the Retreat has been central to my healing, and in so many ways.

And now, here we are approaching TLC’s 19th Retreat! It is always interesting to step back and see how it has developed over the years. The first year, I remember wondering if anyone would come, if anyone felt the need like I did, to spend time with people of similar experience and need. Sure enough, people did, and the tradition continues to grow. 

Many people who have not been to a TLC Retreat  ask me to explain what it is and what will happen. Will they learn “the answer?” – will they sleep in beds? What is the food like? Do they have to talk to others? Who will be coming?  Can they take their wigs off? Do they HAVE to take their wig off – or wash off eye makeup? What if others see their scars or marks from picking? Will they be rejected? Can they bring their spouse? What will a parent do while there? And a myriad of other questions.

I can share with you that we set the basic parameters, by providing the environment and flow of events, but the rest is up to you. (And yes, generally most sleep in shared cabins, unless you bring camping gear or stay at a nearby hotel.) The most important part of participating in a Retreat, I feel, is to come with an open heart and an open mind. It is an opportunity to meet with others from all over the country, of all ages, and at many stages in the recovery process. There are people who may not have pulled or picked for years, and those who spend hours per day still struggling with impulses; those who are actively engaged in networking, and those who have never spoken to another sufferer. Some have been to every Retreat (or one or two), and others are coming for the first time. Many are in treatment, or have been, while others have not. There are people who don’t pull hair or pick skin themselves, but have a loved one that does.

All of us are drawn together by the shared experience of our lives being impacted in some way by picking and pulling, and the desire for freedom from compulsion is the common bond between us.

Then there are the wonderful professional practitioners and others, who participate year after year, to share information and healing without receiving payment for their invaluable contributions. Their availability and individual efforts of behalf of TLC are so integral to the Retreat process. We could not do it without them.

So, in essence, just in coming and being present, one has taken a powerful step and made a strong statement about willingness to recover. 

Most precious  is the opportunity to step outside the need to hide, reduce the old sense of shame, learn new tools, and meet others with whom you can network – for the rest of your life, if you like! Many deep and lasting friendships have evolved out of meetings at the Retreat.

I hope those of you who read this will be moved to join me this year! Here’s the link for more information, and please know that we do offer partial scholarships and payment plans.

http://www.trich.org/involved/cal-retreats.html

See you soon!

Oodles of love, Christina