TLC Blog

TLC’s Parent’s  Email Support Group is a fantastic resource for parents across the world. With over 1500 members, the email group (just one of several) provides support, advice and guidance for parents, from other parents. In response to a series of recent questions from group members, I posted the following info as a guide to “Getting Started”  on this potentially overwhelming road to helping your child with trich or skin picking.  I’m re-posting here to share with everyone! I hope you find it helpful….Leslie, TLC

Congratulations on finding this support group! My name is Leslie, I’m the Program Coordinator at the Trichotillomania Learning Center, the owners and moderators of this e-group. I’m also the TLC’s event coordinator, newsletter and website editor, and parent of a child who has on-and-off issues related to BFRBs (body-focused repetitive behaviors).

It’s great to see parents get proactive about their kids BFRBs (body-focused repetitive behaviors, which includes hair pulling, skin picking and nail biting). There are a lot of new members on this group, so I wanted to share my sort of my step-by-step guide of what Parents need to Know when you are new, or re-visiting, BFRBs (this info is also what helped me).

1. Educate yourself fully about what trich is, what it isn’t, what works with it, what doesn’t.  There are many things YOU can do with your child to start on a recovery program. It’s good to see a therapist if you can…but keep in mind that with young children, you may not get the results you are looking for. I’ve posted some links and resources below to help with this.

2. Remember your child is not their hair, nor is their hair yours. As parents, we often have a hard time seeing our children as separate unique beings. They will have their own battles in life, and we can be their biggest supporter, but we cannot fight all of their battles for them. Trich is one of those battles.

4. KNOW this: the MOST damaging effect of hair pulling is not the loss of hair, it is the loss of self-esteem. If your child eats their hair, then yes, there could be serious consequences. If you child picks skin, then yes, they could get an infection or be left with scars. However, with any BFRB, and with any child, for that matter, maintaining self-esteem is crucial. Don’t lose sight of this!!

5. Do not you pressure your child, or make him feel bad in any way for picking/pulling. Your child is not in control of this behavior! If you make a big deal out it, talk about it all the time, ask questions incessantly, your child will likely feel he/she is letting you down or disappointing you, it will only increase the anxiety and increase the pulling urges.

6. About Therapy: If you choose to seek professional help for your child, and if you have access to a therapist that treats trich, see them first. There is too much mis-information about these behaviors to experiment with someone not familiar (or to experiment with medications). If your therapist is not willing to learn about BFRBs and recommended treatments, find a new one! TLC will provide ANYONE with as much information as possible. We have a great article in our Comprehensive Info Guide by Dr. Fred Penzel about HOW to legally get insurance coverage for trich (even if it is via reimbursement). If your child is prescribed medications, do your homework, get a second opinion, make sure you read this : Medications for Treatment of Trichotillomania and Skin Picking. Sure meds might help, but there are a lot of caveats that come with that statement. Also, even if your child doesn’t see a therapist, allow yourself too, if needed. Trich is overwhelming for parents, we have mixed emotions of guilt, blame, failure and frustration. These feelings are best worked out without your child.

INVALUABLE RESOURCES

Books and DVDs for Parents: http://yhst-96492593834123.stores.yahoo.net/boforpaandyo.html

The Hair Pulling Habit and You is an excellent workbook to help you and your child develop a CBT-based program at home. Every parent with a child under 16 should read this book.  Stay out of My Hair is written by the same authors…and helps YOU understand what parenting strategies are helpful, and harmful, as you work with your child. If you are having your own anxiety and shame about your child’s disorder, or feel your child is working against you, then read this book. With trich, throw everything you think you know about being a good parent out the window. It’s a different monster, and your instincts for dealing with it are probably wrong (mine were).

FREE Articles to read for self-help tips and strategies:

Treatment Guides: http://www.trich.org/dnld/ExpertGuidelines_000.pdf TLC has a Scientific Advisory Board (SAB) consisting of 20 passionate, caring, and dedicated researchers and clinicians who have dedicated their careers to helping your children. This booklet is their guide to what we know works.

N-acetylcysteine for Trichotillomania, Skin Picking, and Nail Biting: http://www.trich.org/treatment/NAC_Trichotillomania.html One of these SAB members conducted this break-through study. TLC has consequently funded a pediatric trial of NAC in young hair pullers. The results are being evaluated and will be presented at the 2012 Conference in Chicago.

A Backpack Full of Strategies for Parents: http://www.trich.org/treatment/BackpackofStrategies.html

Mom Steps up to the TTM Plate! Advice for Parents: http://www.trich.org/treatment/article-advice-parents-lechtman.html

Strategies for toddlers and young children: http://www.trich.org/treatment/article-toddler-golomb.html

The last two links included self-help strategies that I employed with my then-5-yo puller. He doesn’t pull anymore (but does suffer on-and-off with other similar behaviors). Print these articles out, refer to them often, share strategies and ideas on this board.

Become a TLC Member: http://www.trich.org/involved/join.html

TLC’s free message boards are  supported by TLC members. Research into treatments is supported by TLC members.  TLC members also pay for our vast free website, treatment provider training, and all of our awareness and education programs. TLC Membership provides the benefits of receiving any and all info we have available, including our 200+ page Comprehensive Information Guide, quarterly newsletters with exclusive members-only content ( the articles above were in the newsletter originally), and large discounts on events. TLC is the ONLY nonprofit working to better the lives of your children, we receive ZERO government funding or grants, yes, our small staff of five directly supported over 220,000 people in 2011 (not to mention the 1.2 million website visitors). Pretty impressive, right?! And, your membership is tax-deductible…it’s a win-win! And if membership is not in your budget right now…reach out to us. We are here to help.

With love,

Leslie, TLC