My story is not necessarily a success story, or it might not be from your point of view. But, for me it is a success story. I was very young when I started pulling. I started with my eyelashes and from there continued onto my eyebrows. I do not know how many times I have tried to stop since I started pulling. Only one time did I succeed, and even then I stilled pulled some, but since I was pulling so few it was not very obvious.
I consider my story a success because of where I am now. And I want to be an encouragement to others. It is not easy to reach the point that I have reached in my journey. It is a journey. Each day I make a choice and that choice affects the direction that my journey will take me. Generally my decision is to continue on the same path. While this may not be considered the best option, I have learned to accept me for who I am. I do not think that I will ever understand why God has allowed me to be who I am, a puller, but I know that in some way or how He is using me for part of His big plan.
I have had to overcome being extremely self-conscious. I thought that I was ugly because that was how I was choosing to see myself. I was letting my feelings of guilt for pulling “change” my physical appearance. I cannot say that I feel beautiful every day, but I can say that the majority of days I do. It is all about getting up out of the bed and turning my face into the sun and knowing that God and many people love me. And remembering that I need to love myself. I must love who I am.
My way of dealing with the fact that I have almost no eyelashes or eyebrows is using eyeliner and eyebrow-liner. It actually works quite well. Another thing I had to overcome was the feeling that I was hiding behind my makeup. I have come to realize that I am not hiding. I am simply being the person that I am and living life. Interestingly enough I get compliments on my makeup and people are surprised to learn that I do it myself and that I do it every single day. That has helped me to be more confident about my makeup.
People never see me without makeup. Only a few people have seen me in recent years with little makeup on and that is in the morning when I have not had time to wipe off the old makeup and put on the new. The other day I did something that I thought that I would never be able to do. I did my makeup in front of my best friend. That was a big step for me and it was completely worth it. My hands were shaking, but I was able to do it! It amazed me because to me accomplishing that means that I am comfortable with who I am.
The last thing that I want to say is that I hope that the people that read my story will realize that they too can overcome their difficulties. Even the things that we see as impossible are not! Anything is possible: Never give up hope.
~Kay
4 Comments
Kay,
As a kid I was very depressed, mostly because of the trich not because I had a depressing childhood. Now 24 years old I find that I still get down on myself and yes I still pull…a lot. However I have come to terms with the fact that Trich is what I have and not who I am.
I feel beautiful, I love my life, my family and my friends now it’s time that I try and stop and let my hair grow out so maybe my physical appearance can be in sync with the way I feel.
I’m taking it one day at a time and never losing hope.
Thank you for your inspiring words.
Amazing story! To feel comfortable in one’s own skin is a huge success that many women struggle to achieve. I, too, started pulling when I was very young and the eyelashes and eyebrows were the first for me. I’ve lived most of my life without eyelashes and eyebrows but I’ve always used eyeliner so people could hardly tell I don’t have eyelashes. I do have a problem with looking like an alien with no eyebrows though.. do you think you would feel comfortable enough to show me a photo of how you’ve done your eyebrows?
I’ve lived so many years without eyebrows that I don’t remember what having eyebrows would look like on my face. And I can’t find a way to draw on some that would look natural for me. Whenever I walk into beauty stores like Sephora or ones in Macys, a make-up artist tries to draw my eyebrows but I end up hating how fake they look. Any suggestions?
Hi Esme! have you tried anything like the brow outline mask, here: http://www.eazybrow.com/? Maybe that would help with the natural shaping.
This is truly a touching story, thanks for sharing. Being self conscious is really tough to overcome but you did and it’s awesome! great job and great story, thanks
Adam